Grace Enough

Below is a prayer that I wrote my senior year for our Convocation ceremony.  A few weeks ago, I re-read this prayer in preparation for a devotion I was to lead on our beach retreat and I realized that it is much more appropriate and applicable now, while I am living and loving and struggling in Peru, than at any other time in my life.

Almighty Creator,

As we come before you, equally flawed and imperfect, please hear our prayers and allow us some of your limitless grace.

Grant us grace enough to embrace our gifts

and grace enough to be humbled.

Grant us grace enough to feel others’ pain

and grace enough to share our own.

Grant us grace enough to be frustrated

and grace enough to learn from it.

Grant us grace enough to be happy without cause

and grace enough to weep.

Grant us grace enough to be angry with injustice

and grace enough to fight it.

Grant us grace enough to embrace others’ faults

and grace enough to accept our own.

Grant us grace enough to be lost

and grace enough to be found.

Grant us grace enough to challenge our faith

and grace enough to trust it.

Grant us grace enough to hear your voice

and grace enough to listen.

And God, grant us grace enough to see your grace in others

and grace enough to show it.

O Lord, in your Son’s name, grant us grace.

Amen.

Seven Months

Joe, Anna, Me, Sarah Baja, Ginna, and Alissa

For those of you keeping track, I have been living in Peru for nearly seven months now. That’s right, folks. Seven months. Hard to believe you’ve gotten by without me this long, huh?

Joe photographs the sunset. I photograph Joe.

I have recently returned to my home in Moyobamba after our mid-year, week-long retreat relaxing on the beautiful beaches of Máncora, Peru. As I have mentioned, the YAVs reunite every couple months for a retreat in different parts of Peru. These retreats serve as periods of support, discernment, and, of course, good food and lots of laughter. Our beach retreat in Máncora also served as a celebration of having survived over six months in Peru and an opportunity to take a day trip into Ecuador to renew our visas.

Writing on the beach.

During our time at the beach, I spent a lot of time thinking. I would think about how some days it felt impossible that six months had already flown by, leaving me with this almost visceral urge to squeeze the most out of my time left. Give up my sometimes self-pitying ways, grow up, and do something with the remaining months. Then I would think about how on other days, the harder days, it felt impossible that only six months had passed – time was inching by. I felt that I haven’t contributed anything yet and that there was no way I could contribute anything before July 27 when I fly home. It’s on these down days that I try to remind myself of some of the ways I have already changed and grown since coming to Peru.  Try to remind myself of the things I have learned in the past six months. I would like to share a few of those things with you.

What I’ve learned so far:

Spanish – While this is probably the most obvious (and I still have a long way to go), I still take pride in the fact that my Spanish skills have improved leaps and bounds and I will be mostly fluent when I return to the States.

Never show up early…or on time – If you do, you will be the only one there. Wait half an hour and try again.

Patience – This includes patience with myself, other people, situations beyond my control, and a culture that at times is illogical or frustrating.

Asking for help – For someone used to an independent lifestyle and normally being able to figure things out for myself, learning to admit vulnerability and ask for help is challenging – especially with questions that can be embarrassing or awkward, like asking how to flush a handle-less toilet (you just pour water in the bowl until it flushes).

Santiago, son of my host parents

People are the same, no matter where you are or what language is being spoken – Children love to laugh, grandmothers will feed you like you’re being fattened for slaughter, and 20-somethings are sarcastic, idealistic, and kind of lazy.

Being challenged is good – Good but painful. I’m learning to challenge myself in the obvious ways (living in another country speaking another language for a year) and the not-so obvious ways (using my time in productive ways, such as reading or writing, or with my family…not as easy as it sounds)

Peru is wonderful – One of the most beautiful and diverse countries on the planet, Peru is also peopled with a warm and generous and vivacious people.

A shift in world-view – Addressing a 3^rd world reality from a 1^st world mentality is painful at worst and life-changing at best.  Ask me about it when I get back – I still need time to digest this one.

Taking life a little slower – harder than you might think but worthwhile when you take the time to appreciate a relaxed meal or conversation.

I am proud to be an American – Although I am still frustrated with our country and our arrogance (viewing the US from a 3^rd world perspective is humbling and often embarrassing), I am glad to be North American and have been forced to recognize the true beauty of the phrase “land of opportunity.” Living in a land where educational, economic, medical, social, and career opportunities are limited and often non-existent for much of the population gives me a new appreciation for the past 22 years of my life.

We’re all connected – Cliché? Maybe. Inconvenient? Yes. Recognizing that the people of the world are more connected than we’d like to admit requires us to re-evaluate our actions, as individuals and as a nation, knowing that we impact people beyond ourselves.